Dance and Rest

     

 Having not choreographed a dance in two years, you can only imagine what I put my body through when I agreed to perform an Indian dance for my school’s Halloween party. Night after night, I trekked to the English office, which magically turned into a wonderful dance space, and put my body through boot camp. As I cursed myself for picking a song that was too fast and too long, “Dhoom Tanna,” I put pressure on myself. I wanted to the dance to look effortless, fun, alluring, and perfect all at the same time. At first, I started practicing in my house, but I couldn't think of moves and I kept stumping my toe on every piece of furniture around. I knew I needed to find a space quickly and once I did, I was finally able to move like I use to, well-sorta. I remember when Vanessa, one of my best friends, would have parties at her house we would create the most amazing dance moves to any song that played. We were very flexible so each move looked effortless. With age, being able to bend backwards-stand up and spin on command goes much slower and that is if I am not stuck in the backwards position!

One night this week, I had just finished practicing, and as I was locking up I noticed the building was oddly quiet and dark. Usually even at 10:00pm, there are students still occupying rooms cramming their brains out. I quickly headed down stairs and what I knew was going to be my fate one day in these Chinese buildings had met me tonight. The gate to exit was locked. I immediately started laughing. Laughing? I know, weird, you would think I would start sweating and panicking, but no I laughed. I laughed because of course I would get locked into the building. I called my friend, Sunny, and thank goodness she was awake-she started panicking and changing her clothes as we spoke. While I waited for her I decided to say loudly “Ni Hao—Hello-anyone there?!” Then I remembered a phrase I learned two months ago in language training, “Ni keyi bang wo ma?!”-“Can you help me?!” and yelled it at the top of my lungs about three times until finally, a nice Aiyi (aunty), who lived in the building, came to my rescue! That is probably the most useful Chinese phrase I will ever know.

Anyway, my performance was a hit! It felt amazing to dance again and it was like I was on a “high,” except this high is good for you! I was smiling the whole time and the pressure of remembering each move simply floated away. It is a wonderful feeling to dance again. I am not sure why I stopped but now I know being here in China will allow me to open all the doors I closed for no apparent reason but being “busy.” Next semester, along with teaching 6+,holding a Women’s Mentorship Program, and English Corner, I will also have two dance classes-one for Zumba/fun exercise class and the other for girls who are serious about performing. I can’t wait-so much so that I just want to start it right now!

Off topic: I am still having a terrible time sleeping. I would stay up until 12, which is when I feel the most tired, then I get into bed and BAM I am awake again. I usually won’t fall asleep until 2:30-3:00am. Yesterday, after my dance-Sunny and I had a nice girls night-where we were talking and drinking a nice cold one! I told her my bed is incredibly hard and may be the reason I can’t sleep properly. We both came into my room and she said-yes, you are right-it is like you are sleeping on a board. I told her, I think the bed is upside down-I’m sleeping at the bottom part and the “soft” part is on the other side. We lifted the bed and low and behold-I was right. Next thing you know, we are trying to flip a heavy bed onto the other side. For ladies who haven’t lifted weights in a while, we did it pretty quickly! Finally, after many sleepless nights, I can finally rest.in.peace-hopefully.

Off topic, again: There is something about mothers all around the world that I admire greatly. Every time I want to spend time around my family (related or not), I always receive a text/call no matter where in the world I am. Whenever I feel like it has been a while since I’ve seen or spent time with my host family-right at that instant-magically, my host-mother contacts me. It’s like no matter where a mother’s “children” are (related or not), mothers know they are needed. Thank goodness for that.

Hope ya’ll had a great Halloween! J

Ode to Mooncakes and Other Things.

Don’t get excited, this isn’t a poem. I just liked the title and I really like Mooncakes. Well, I don’t like all Mooncakes. God knows, I cringe when I break open a cake that is filled with “sweet meat.” It’s the sweet bean fillings that I like most. Since the taste of green beans has been introduced to me, I’ve been obsessed. Green beans for dinner, green bean yogurt, green bean ice cream and now, green bean moon cake.

Yesterday was China’s Mid-Autumn Festival. This festival, like most festivals in China, is about the union of families. Families sit together, eat moon cakes, and look out for the big full moon in the sky. Too bad, it was cloudy here in Neijiang-but the celebration continued despite this. My host family had taken me to their country side home just 20 minutes outside our small city. It reminded me very much of Punjab; green everywhere and the smell of cow dung greeted me as we drove along the rough rode into my host family’s drive way. My time with the family is always joyful. As my family and I sat eating moon cakes and watching HBO (yes, I know!), my host-mom turned to me and said-next time you come to my house, don’t worry yourself and buy us anything.”(During training, we were advised that once in a while it is nice to bring our supervisors and host-family fruit, go out with them-spend time-just to build a good report.) I said “…but I want to show my appreciation for you all.” She said, “I feel appreciation in my heart.” We smiled at each other and continued to eat. I’m still going to bring them fruit every once in a while…

Ode to Other Things:

Living on my own has consisted of quite interesting experiences. For one thing, I have finally cleaned my kitchen. Meaning now, I can finally cook in it. Living on my own-in my first apartment, which I could NEVER afford in NYC-in another country-definitely has its ups and its downs. For one thing, I tried grocery shopping for the first time. I prepared a list before I left and I should have known that would be a little sample of the overwhelming feeling I would get when I entered the market. I saw too much at one time, and I knew very little of what to buy. My mom and sister had always teased me about this when I decided to help out at home by going grocery shopping for my family. I bought only what was on my list, I never looked at the sale prices, and I always spent more than I should on all the wrong shit.

 As soon as I saw all the vegetables and meat laid out on display at the open market, all I could think of was- How do I know if a tomato is good or bad? Should it be hard or soft-not too soft, I know, but just how soft? Do onions go bad faster if their skin has already been pealed? Should I buy meat now or the day I want to cook it? Do I need ginger? Eggs-if they are already expired, but don’t have black spots all over them, are they still good to eat? Fortunately, my site-mate did come with me, so most of these questions were answered. Yet I felt deeply embarrassed and I was so incredibly overwhelmed that I wanted to walk out of the market crying. All I had for myself at the end was:

2 red peppers

1 big onion

3 garlic bunches?

2 gingers

Half a bag of rice for a rice cooker I don’t know how to use.

Knife

Lint brush, which was a golden discovery.

2 bags of Salt

Cooking oil

2 packs of frozen dumplings (the only thing I’ve “cooked,” and by cooked I mean boiled, so far.  On some nights this has saved my life).

 When I got home-I sat there-almost in tears because I had never done this before;take care of myself. Well, I have done this before, but not in the aspect where I was living by myself. Some of you may be laughing at my stupidity or claiming that I am being over dramatic, again. Yet, I can’t help feeling this way-this is a good feeling-although I felt terrible. I need to go through this-being on my own-being a full-fledged adult. Everyone goes through this at some point in their lives and how they overcome it is what makes them grow. When I make my first meal, which will be chicken curry, I will be proud that I’ve made one step forward to living on my own and growing up.

Little by little I will make the wonders of China my home,much of it already is, and I will introduce myself to it as it has to me. I will let down all my guards and truly be myself, and not be sorry for doing so. I will learn how to create and master several delectable dishes. Soon, when I look back at my starting point here, I will laugh at my beginnings and be ever so grateful for the journey! 

What I asked for...

My fate has been determined. I will spend the next two years of my time in China in the city, Neijiang. More importantly, I am at a supportive school with a supportive boss, which is exactly what I asked for. I remember the night before my big interview, I thought to myself, “What is more important, a site mate or a great school?” I knew it would be a 50% chance I would have a site mate, everything “just depends...” according to all my supervisors. When I got my envelope, I didn’t know what to feel or how to react. I was assigned to the province I’ve been living in for the past two months, but in a different city. As I looked around at my other friends’ packets, some were headed south, east, west, and north. I just had a flood of emotion go through me because we would not be near one another. My new program manager approached me and started talking about my new school and boss, I started to feel better, because I got what I asked for. I felt a little disappointed I wasn’t leaving my province, but then I realized that I haven’t seen my province at all. I’ve only stayed within the vicinity of two universities.

Now that I am in Neijiang, I have to say I am pretty content with where I am placed. It is a very small city, but it reminds me of New York and Chengdu all at the same time. Lots of people, lots of traffic, and a lot of shopping!

Funny/quirky things that have happened so far:

My apartment: my bed, sofa, two dining room chairs are all broken in the oddest ways. My bathroom has a western toilet and a shower head…that’s it. No sink, no actual separate shower one steps into. It reminds me of an Indian bathroom!

Waiban (boss): First day I met her, she asked me if I wanted to get a facial, her treat. I mean, how can one refuse? It was one of the nicest facials I’ll probably ever have.

New Host family: pronunciation and miscommunication at its best:

Mom: You do yoga?

I heard: You eat yogurt?

Me: I like green bean yogurt.

Mom: looks confused.

Later in the day:

Mom: Tomorrow I will buy frog.

I heard: tomorrow I will buy fork.

Me: No, don’t buy a fork, I can eat with chopsticks.

Mom: looks confused.

Over all, my site visit has been simply amazing. I love my new boss and I really enjoy my new city. My apartment has some quirks and seriously needs to be cleaned, but I will eventually make it my own. I can’t wait to meet my site mate, who has already been in China for year, just the support I needed. 

Wish me luck <3 

Welcome to China

Funny things that have happened so far:

1) At every airport I landed/took-off from, I've left my carry-on luggage in the waiting area/security. I realized I left it when I was either about to board the plane or leaving security. I would have to run back and get it. To me, this is a sign that a part of me wanted to stay home. Anyway, I'm glad I have ALL my luggage.

2) The day I moved into my host parents home is the day their building elevator breaks. They live on the 11th floor...yeah...

3) I get stared at from random people, I usually just smile and wave!

4) Shen Feifei is my Chinese name. I laugh every time I say my own name.

5) I keep saying "hello" in replace of "thank you" in Mandarin. So I'll say "hello (Ni hao), ask for/buy water" and instead of saying "Thanks (xiexie)," I say "Hello," again. Peeps must think I'm cray.

6) My host sister, who is 8 yrs.old, poked my chest and said "boobs/chest" in Mandarin, out loud, in a grocery store...

7) My host sister walked into the bathroom as I was using it and stared at me. 

8) My host sister told me my feet stink. She was right, I washed them immediately. 

10) I had to jump over a wall to get to a destination...that was a pretty funny scene.

11) Weirdest things I've eaten: Rabbit, probably the smallest egg in the world, some animals neck/shoulder, some animals liver (which didn't taste so bad). 

Luck has been on my side in China. I have eaten great food, met some unique and inspiring people, and now I am with an awesome host family!

My host mom is an artist! I am so glad PC matched my interests with my host families’ interests. She teaches at a University and specifically teaches furniture design. She had an exhibition at UMass and MIT when she lived in the States for a year. Her imagination is vast and I am honored to just be in her company. I even got a copy of her book, which is pages of her art work! When I get my apartment, I will hang her drawings up on the wall. She also showed me the furniture she has designed, which is more for display/show than for actual use, I’ve never seen anything like it. I can’t wait to paint and draw with her this summer. It will definitely bring back memories of when I use to paint, I don’t know why I ever stopped.

My host sister is eight years old and a handful! She has great energy, is always laughing, and really takes care of me. She is so easy to love and she’s got some sass to her, too! My host grandparents are super adorable. My grandfather does majority of the cooking and when he gets started in the kitchen, he goes all out. I caught him in the cutest apron the other day; purple with a bow! I am still getting to know my host dad, he’s pretty laid back and has been very helpful. Overall, I am so blessed to be with a modern, laid-back, fun and caring family.

This week will be our first week training at another University. I am excited to hang out with my fellow volunteers but I’m also nervous at how intense things will get in terms of language classes and TEFL prep. I will get through it and I’m glad I have a great support system here and back at home to help me out.

Biking/walking to and from school will be interesting. Hopefully with all the eating I’ve been doing, It’ll do me some good!! More on that later!

Sorry for the boring writing, I’ve been very tired lately.

~Shen Feifei

Oprah said...

“ Build a resume that doesn't simply tell a story about what you want to be, but it’s a story about who you want to be. Build a resume that isn't a collection of titles and positions but a story that’s really about your purpose... What is your true calling? What is your dharma? What is your purpose?”

...so that's what I'm doing. I am finding my purpose, my true calling, my balance in the universe.Quite a few people have asked me "How did you become interested in the Peace Corps?" and every time I go to answer this question I find that my answer becomes more complicated.

If you asked me this question at 16 or 17 years old, when I first heard about the Peace Corps, I would say "..because I want to change the world." This is still true today but in a different aspect. I'm definitely not going to China to change it. In fact, if anything, I'll leave China changed. I love change and I embrace it very well...unless I have to physically pack for it, then that's a headache! On a serious note, I look forward to all that I can teach and more importantly, all that I will learn from my new home and its people.

I mean come on, who wouldn't be excited about eating Bok Choy for breakfast in CHINA?!